Why we’re done having children

Posted on | February 20, 2012 | 3 Comments

I never understood how people could say they knew they never wanted to have children…. until now.

And it’s not for the reason you may think although at 3 a.m. some nights I DO understand why people never want to have kids. But in all seriousness, I always wondered how people could “know” their life was complete without children. They would tell me they just feel like they have what they want and children aren’t in that plan.

“Absurd,”  I thought. Children are magical. How could you want to spend your life without these magical little creatures that steal all of your time, money & sleep????

I couldn’t understand because I knew I wanted children…. THREE children to be exact…. and I didn’t understand that concept of “complete.”

And then I had Madison and life was great & yet all I could think about was another child. I knew our life was not complete with just one child. She filled our hearts with so much love and happiness. Being her mom gave me a purpose beyond what I ever could have imagined in life. Yet still I felt like our family was not complete. I dreamed about another baby night after night.

And then I got pregnant…. and I got scared.

I mean TWO of them, 20 months apart…. it’s a tad frightening right?

I kept convincing myself that the THOUGHT of 2 under 2 was way scarier than the reality but the truth of the matter was two was hard. REALLY hard. Hannah started off as this amazing little baby that fit perfectly into the “empty space” in our family.

And then one day she FLIPPED. She became the most dramatic, high needs, emotional & LOUD ball of chub in the world. Couple that with the fact that she laughs in the face of sleeping through the night and suddenly I wondered how I could ever want another.

Not wanting to make a rash decision while in the throws of a high-needs infant we decided that I would go on the Mirena and we would take time to make any permanent family planning decisions.

Which brings us to some very serious conversations. I have dug down deep in my heart and as much as I always thought I would have three children, I feel complete with two. I don’t yearn for another child. I don’t dream about having another baby. In fact, the thought of putting myself through the rollercoaster of sleep deprivation, zoloft & breastfeeding around the clock again makes me weak in the knees.

We have made the decision that our biological family is complete and we are at peace with that decision. I finally understand what it’s like to feel like your life is complete with who you have in it. I finally understand why people are comfortable with their decision to have no kids because I’m 100% comfortable with announcing to all of you that I will not be pregnant again.

Yet on the same time we’re realists. We love family & and love God & if at some point in our lives we are drawn to adoption, I’m 100% open to it. I think it would be an amazing thing to be in a place some day to bring a child into our lives that needs us on a level that I can’t even understand right now but that’s a bridge we’ll cross years from now.

So for now this family of four will continue grooving to Moves Like Jagger every night after dinner. I’ll kiss my babies like I do every night and late at night when we’re struggling to keep our eyes open to catch up on our DVR, I’ll look at Clint and say I’m so thankful for the family he has given me and I can’t wait to watch our two girls grow up together and (hopefully) be the best of friends.

For us, the peace of “being done” is a wonderful burden lifted off our shoulders and I’m so very excited for the future of our family of four.

8 Months

Posted on | February 17, 2012 | 2 Comments

My Sweet Girl,

It’s been 8 months since you entered our lives and made our family whole. Since you came on the scene things have been…

messier

louder

more sleep deprived

& better than we could have ever imagined.

You are our wild child with absolute no fear & a curiosity for everything. You crawl all over the house, try desperately to pull up and manage to get into things that your sister STILL has never gotten into at 2.5 years old.

It’s so fun to see how different you are from Madison. The two of you compliment each other so well when you aren’t fighting over toys. You’ve managed to hold your own even though you are the underdog & I fear for Madison when the time comes that you really can fight back.

Your smile is infectious and your cheeks are delicious.

Likes: grilled cheese, eggs, peas, bananas, turkey, pasta, crawling, clapping hands & waving bye-bye

Dislikes: purees, having her nose wiped, getting dressed, sleeping through the night & being told no.

We love you to the moon & back our sweet Hannah Banana!

A few of my favorite things: Make-up Edition

Posted on | February 16, 2012 | 15 Comments

Do you ever look back at pictures and wondered why you weren’t wearing make up and then realize that you WERE wearing make up but you just had no idea how to really put it on?

As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more aware of the products I put on my face and HOW to put them on properly. I’ve learned what is worth splurging on & what can be bought at the drugstore. When I look at pictures I no longer cringe at my eye shadow choices and I’ve learned that some tinted lip gloss goes a LONG WAY.

So I thought I’d share some of my favorite products with you guys.

1.  Stila One Step Foundation – Light

When I found out this product was going to be discontinued I bought 3 bottles of it. It is billed as an all in one: primer, foundation, concealer & powder. But I still use powder or bronzer on top of it. It blends so well and is super light weight & never gets oily. I love the way it makes my skin look and I’ll be so sad when I’m out and have to find a new foundation.

2. Benefit Lemon Aid Correcting Cream

I reached out to my girlfriend from High School, Liz, because I needed something to make my “I have a newborn & a two year old and I never sleep” eyes look a little less like a heroin addict. She suggested this cream and I’m a believer. It’s a soft yellow and it makes my eyes look all bright & happy even when I’m exhausted & miserable. I use it under my eye shadow and it helps keep the colors set. I bought it back in August and am not even close to using the whole container so at $20 it’s a great buy!

3. L’Oreal Paris True Match Powder in Creamy Natural

I’m sure there are more expensive & better powders that I could buy but I just love this one so much. It’s less than $10 & since my Walgreen’s Beauty lady always has coupons cut out I usually pay $5 or less for it. Can’t go wrong with that and it even makes my skin look blended without foundation.

4. NARS The Multiple in Orgasm

Hands down this is my favorite item in my make-up drawer. It seems pricey for a “blush” but again, I’ve had it for 6 months & it still looks barely used. It’s light & shimmery and makes my cheeks look so fabulous. I put it directly on my cheeks and then blend with my fingers (I’m really fancy like that).

5. Stila In the Light Palette & Too Faced Natural Eye Palette

I go back & forth between these two eye shadow palettes every day. They are AMAZING. They have the best neutrals and you can easily get light daytime looks & dark, smoky night time looks in the same palette. I also use Bliss from the Stila palette on my eyebrows & it works perfectly!

The only thing that makes me sad is I’m out of the color Kitten in my In the Light palette and I can not bring myself to drop $18 on one eye shadow. Luckily the Silk Teddy color in the Natural Eye Palette is a great substitute.

6. Urban Decay Lip Junkie in Naked

I received a small sample of this in one of my Sephora orders & was immediately hooked. I recently lost it so I had to go out & buy the full sized version. It makes my lips fuller and shiny & sparkly and that makes me look like less of a zombie. Someone please go back and tell Early 20s Joanna to invest in some of this stuff, perhaps she would have looked better.

So there you have it folks… My make-up must haves. You may have noticed that I didn’t include a mascara. That’s because I buy a new one every single time. I usually buy whatever is on sale. I’m open for suggestions on your favorite mascara.

So how about you? What are your make-up must haves? I’m always up for buying some new products!

Steppin’ Out Saturday 2-11-12

Posted on | February 12, 2012 | 4 Comments

Last night we stepped out to the restaurant where we went on our first REAL FANCY date: Oceanaire. We’ve been talking about this place since the night we went there over 5 years ago & were a bit nervous that it may not live up to everything we remembered… but it did.

Oh man did it ever.

We ate spicy red chili fried calamari (AH-MAZING), I had the most delicious oysters. We each got “you could cut with a butter knife” filet mignon that was covered in truffle butter and I had the most tender, juiciest lobster tail. There was sour cream mashed potatoes & cheesecake to be shared. The wine was flowing, we laughed a LOT and basically had the most romantic night ever.

Truthfully we had so much fun just reconnecting & lauging that we probably could have been sitting at Chili’s and I wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

Oh, who am I kidding… Filet dripping in truffle butter y’all……. it was for real.

::What we wore::

Joanna: Top – Belk, Skinny Jeans – Target, Shoes – JCPenney

Clint: Top – JCPenney, Jeans – Levis, Shoes: Tony Lama Boots

Not included: creeping toddler & crazy dog.

Things I want to blog about

Posted on | February 10, 2012 | 3 Comments

Perhaps if I wrote about all of the things I want to blog about perhaps I’ll actually you know… blog about them.

In no particular order:

• Madison ditched the paci back in early December. It was super easy & painless and I’ve been meaning to tell y’all what we did & how I knew it was the right time.

• Clint and I have made the decision that we are done having biological children. I say biological because we haven’t ruled out that there could be a possible adoption somewhere down the road if we have the funds.

• Hannah turned 6 months, and then 7 months and tomorrow turns 8 & I haven’t blogged about any of it. She’s crawling & trying to pull up and clapping hands and generally being adorable.

• Madison has hit the terrible twos and is a force to be reckoned with. She can go from being an absolute doll one minute to shoving her sister or hitting her in the head with a toy the next. It’s maddening, please send wine.

• I’ve lost a little bit of weight and hope to continue to lose steadily until I turn 30 on August 24th. I’m already dreaming of the dress I can buy for my birthday dinner in Las Vegas.

• Did you see those last two words?? Las Vegas!!! We’re going for my 30th birthday. Everyone’s invited… let’s party.

• I’ve been on a major job search & things are looking really positive. I’m hoping to be gainfully employed doing something I love in the very near future.