Toddler Punishment

Posted on | January 9, 2012 | 3 Comments

Tonight I sent my two year old to her bedroom 30 seconds into dinner & I’m confident I did the right thing.

It sounds harsh just writing that sentence out…. especially if you know Madison. Honestly, she’s a doll. Soft-spoken & so smart it’s scary. She’s polite and witty and a doll with her sister. She’s also fiercely independent & two which equals sharing every emotion she’s having at the exact moment she’s having it. There are power struggles & tantrums and most of the time I’m able to handle with redirection.

Tonight was not one of those nights.

My mother-in-law had stopped by for a few hours this afternoon to see the girls and Clint was home early so I thought today would be the perfect day to cook one of my favorite “one-pot meals.” I cut up the potatoes & zucchini, cleaned the chicken breasts and placed them on top, covered the entire dish in tomato sauce & popped it in the oven. A real comfort dish that is relatively healthy & contains components that every one in my family loves.

We commenced our usual evening ritual. I prepared Hannah’s dinner and Clint sat down to feed her so she would be done right about the time we sat down to eat. The puffs were ready to keep Hannah occupied during our dinner, my glass of wine was poured & we were ready to sit down at the table.

I called Madison to the table & explained to her everything that was on her plate like I do every night.

“Maddie, tonight we’re having chicken, potatoes & zucchini… all of your favorites.”

I expected her to dig right in. Instead I was met with a full on tantrum. There are many nights where she’ll complain about what’s on her plate…. that is nothing new. My rules for dinner are pretty simple. I ALWAYS have at least two things I know she loves. I also (thanks to inspiration by this lovely lady) incorporate new items at most meals. She is ALWAYS required to try a new item but she is not required to eat it all. I give every new item a few tries before we decide it’s a food she doesn’t like or one that we’ll start including in the regular rotation. I do not expect her to love and eat everything on her plate at every meal.

What I do expect is for her to display age appropriate table manners and to listen to her father and I when we ask her to try things.

I made several attempts to diffuse the situation by explaining to her the many times she’s eaten these foods before and all I got was bigger tears and exclamations about how she “HATES CHICKEN.”

So I made an on the spot decision. “You either stop crying and try what is on your plate or you can go sit in your room until you are done crying.”

She decided she wanted to go to her room. I turned the light on for her and watched as she closed the door behind her… sobbing and my heart ached.

I went back to the table & agonized over doing the right thing. Was she too young to be sent to her room? Perhaps she’s having an off day and I should make her something else?

Self doubt was at an all time high but my husband talked me off the ledge and we decided to stand strong. We waited a fw minutes and Clint went in the first time.

I could hear him asking her if she’d like to come back and eat dinner with us which was met by more sobs & emphatic “no’s.”

He came back to the table alone.

A few more minutes passed & I decided to go in. There she was, lying in her bed… full of dramatic sobs and puffy eyes. I swear my mind was fast forwarding 12 years for when I’ll be in the same situation with a pre-teen Madison upset with me because I breathed the same air as her.

I asked her to come to dinner and she just looked at me and slowly shook her head “no.” You could tell she wanted to but honest to God it was like she was taking a stand. She had already drawn her line in the sand by picking her room over dinner & she wasn’t going to give.

So I gave her an out. I put my arms out and said it would make me so happy if she would come eat dinner with us & she finally caved. She stood up in her bed and let me carry her back to dinner. Once at the table she told Clint & I how much she loved us and proceeded to dig into her dinner.

“I love chicken!” she said over and over again. She ate 90% of her zucchini and most of her potatoes. I even added some steamed carrots (one of her new favorites) to her plate while she was in her room and she ate those like candy.

Dinner was a success & as a result she got a special dessert of peach applesauce (side note: when do they stop thinking natural applesauce, yogurt & oranges are dessert because I LOVE this age… I look like a hero for her “special treat” which is really a healthy snack.)

At the end of the day I really hope this whole situation made some sort of impression on her. I’m not a fool to think that we won’t still experience tantrums or battles over food but I like to think of tonight as the night her father and I drew the line in the sand & said that “dinner is what is served on your plate.”

I guess only time will tell.

So now tell me, how do you all handle similar situations with your toddler?

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