You guys… this is my kitchen floor. Look close, to the left… that grout line that should be straight and isn’t? Yeah, that’s a hill of tented tile… in the middle of my kitchen. It’s like a ceramic trampoline that keeps threatening to shatter and send a stream of sharp tile shards and grout confetti all over my house.
We were sitting down to eat dinner on Saturday night when all of the sudden we heard what sounded like a glass vase falling to the tile and breaking into a million pieces. We then saw our dog run scared out of the kitchen and assumed she had knocked something over. Only there was nothing there, and then Clint looked down and all I heard was “Holy shit, the floor is coming up.”
So yeah, I immediately started freaking out about not being able to live like this (Hi my name is Joanna, I’m a wee bit dramatic) and called my dad to tell him, because I’m a firm believer that if you tell everyone your problems somehow they will all share the burden of helping you fix them and you won’t seem so overwhelmed and then I went straight for the wine because, of course.
And no, we don’t know what’s wrong. Everyone else seems to know what’s wrong and has the answer and also has suggestions for things we SHOULD have done to prevent it or who we need to call and well, right now I really hate the internet but that’s what I get for writing about it ON THE INTERNET. Smarts…. I has ‘em.
We suspect a REALLY shitty tile job. It could be foundation issues. I honestly don’t think it is. I really, really hope it’s not. We’ve had tile problems since shortly after we moved in and after all the reading we’ve done since Saturday discovered that the bang up job our installers did included not leaving an expansion perimeter around the walls and not allowing for any expansion joints in the tile job itself. Awesome.
We are supposed to be booking a trip to Orlando in May.
Instead, right now I’m trying to swallow the price of replacing approximately 1,000 square feet of tile with wood flooring. In case you are wondering… it’s expensive. REALLY expensive.
Part of me is really excited. I have loathed these light colored tiles for years. Dreaming about a floor that doesn’t look dirty the second someone walks on it. The other part of me is thinking about the road to get to pretty new floors which I can only imagine with two kids and two dogs will send me straight to the loony bin.
We’ve placed approximately 87 phone calls to our builder with no response.
I have an old area rug covering the spot but I pretty much want to cry every time I walk over it.
So yeah, please send wine. And suggestions for engineered hardwood floor that won’t send us to the poor house. Or maybe I can just convince Clint that dusty unfinished cement floors are all the rage right now?
And well, while you’re at it- why don’t you just plan on coming over the next few weekends because we’ve got quite the demo job on our hands.