Category Archives: Love

Salt Water for the Soul

May 13, 2013 – 11:49 am

I didn’t know what was missing in my heart until I watched my oldest light up at first sight of the ocean.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (1)

I had no idea how much I needed to see their little toes burrow into the sand.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (27)

Or how much they really needed this vacation too.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (12)

I didn’t ask them to hold each other’s hand as they ran straight for the water and waves. It was just what they wanted to do.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (5)

If I close my eyes I can still smell that day. Salt water and sand mixed in with sunscreen and fresh air.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (46)

I can still feel the way she felt when I gave her a great big hug at the beginning of the ocean. Gritty and sweaty and blissfully happy.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (62)BW

I worried about their reaction to the sand and how they would feel about sitting in it and getting dirty. They dug right in and started building sand castles like the beach was all they’ve ever known.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (74)

And watching him with his girls? Their little hands clinging tightly to his. The way the fear in their faces melted away the second they were near him. He holds their hearts in his hands. He holds mine too.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (39)BW 2013-05-07 Florida Beach (47)

I spent weeks psyching myself up for this vacation. Five days travelling with small children. My anxieties about flying and the ocean and parenting all waiting to take me down. I wished that I could be different for them and for me. I wished I could be the mother that was genuine when I said I was excited about going on vacation with my family. I wished I could go with the flow and just handle the day as it comes instead of incessantly worrying about what could happen. I wished that I could fulfill my promises to Clint that I would spend more time seeing the the beauty in every moment rather than the struggle.

I showed up to the beach and I felt my palms starting to sweat as I watched the girls running toward the ocean with Clint. I yelled at him to keep them closer, to hold their hands tighter. I spit out a caustic “I told you so” as we carried two screaming children back from the water after falling down. I set them up with pails and shovels and started to think about how much trouble all of this had been and now they were terrified of the ocean and we’d have to spend the rest of the day in the sand.

And then I heard myself and realized the only person stopping me from enjoying this day was myself. It wasn’t my kids crying at the water, it wasn’t Clint purposely not listening to me. It was me, letting my fear and anxiety overcome me. I was my own worst enemy.

In that moment, I made a choice. One that I rarely ever make. I took a deep breath and let it all go. I took Maddie by the hand and told her we were just going to let the water touch our toes. And when she cried I picked her up and said that was okay, we would go hunt for sea shells. And then we tried again. And again and again. And finally the exhilaration of the cold ocean water running past her feet and receding right back overcame her. And I was there. I was holding her hand for that moment that she fell in love with beach.

This trip was so many things for me. It was magical and overwhelming and way more emotional than I could have ever imagined.

I had no idea how much I needed it until I was there.

2013-05-07 Florida Beach (9)

This trip taught me to find my joy. From now on when someone asks me how I got the extra skip in my step, I’ll have to tell them it was the salt water.

Permalink | Comments (5)

Prima

April 10, 2013 – 9:49 am

When you are watching your children, there are moments that come out of nowhere and knock you off your feet. A regular activity suddenly becomes magical. And on Saturday morning as I sat in Madison’s dance class I was completely taken over by one of those moments. Feelings of pride, gratitude and love rushed through me.

I kept staring at this this amazing little girl that I made. She exudes happiness and beauty. And in that moment, every long night or struggle disappeared. I wish we could bottle that feeling up and give it out to everyone in the world.

2013-4-5 Madison Dance (4) 2013-4-5 Madison Dance (13) 2013-4-5 Madison Dance (20)bw 2013-4-5 Madison Dance (16) 2013-4-5 Madison Dance (18)

Permalink | Comment (0)

Finding Hope Important Things Love Madison South Africa Uncategorized

South Africa: On Returning Home & Sponsorship ~ Part Two

November 29, 2012 – 10:07 am

After returning home, I found myself constantly reflecting on my time in South Africa. There is so much destruction surrounding them, and yet with the help, love, and support of God and their generous sponsors they have a future. One of the little girls at the orphanage will forever be with me. My sweet Muckie. Her smile could brighten any room.

She loved every single moment of everyday. Every single time she would come to me, I would hold her little chunky body in my arms and laugh about anything and everything. It would constantly remind me of my oldest niece Madison. Those of you who follow Joanna’s Blog regularly have heard stories after stories of this strong, sassy, punk of a kid that has her aunt completely wrapped around her finger. She is my best friend in every way and I can’t imagine a single day with out her or Hannah.

I wanted to share this experience with Madison. She is so intelligent and I knew that on some level she could understand what I was going there to do. Madison has this incredible capacity for love. She cares for everyone and feels everything so deeply. I am in awe of her on a daily basis. That sort of love should be shared with the world. I just really didn’t know what I could do to continually involve Madison in being universally aware of others and doing what we can to help.

I was at a Women’s Retreat called “Women of Faith” Where thousands of women were in the American Airlines Center to hear different speakers such as Max Lucado and Pat Smith share their stories with us. At this event World Vision was there to give us women the opportunity to sponsor a child and give hope around the world. To me it seemed a bit sneaky to put 10,000 women in a room, make them cry over and over again with touching stories, then show them pictures of kids that have nothing and push us to sponsor these kids. Haha!

I mean it’s $35 a month. That’s $420 a year. And if you sponsor a kid until they are 16 and out of the World Vision Program it could end up being close to $6,000. I don’t know about you, but I could use $6,000.

But something was tugging hard on my heart, and I went to one of the tables and spoke to a woman who has been sponsoring a young man for his entire life. She talked about how amazing it was to watch her son grow up alongside her “sponsored” son. The older they got, they would write letters back and forth, and her son would help with the monthly cost. She said he would save his own money to send to World Vision rather than for video games, etc. I finally had my answer. Yes, it’s costly. Yes, it takes a long time and is a long commitment. Yes, I may never meet this child. I just knew that this was my way to helpMadisonsee the world through the eyes of someone on the other end of the planet. I wantedMadisonto grow up knowing that she has already changed the life of someone else. I wantMadisonto have a passion for this as I do because her heart is too big to keep to herself.

So Madison Osborne and I are now the PROUD sponsors of Nthati. She is 3 and was born the same year and month a sMadison and lives in a small country called Lesotho located in the middle of South Africa, not far from where I was this past summer.

Madison and I just wrote our first letter to Nthati, telling her we love her and that we are praying for her. After explaining everything to Madison the first time about what we were doing her response to me was this. “Hey Aunt Sam, sometimes my friend Nthati gets sad, but I’m gonna get her food and paints so she can paint a picture for her mommy and be happy.”

Madison is 3, but is changing the world. It’s the most amazing experience and I thank God every day for blessing me with my sweet nieces and that I can share this with them. I cannot wait for all the ways that Madison and I will get to communicate and learn from Nthati. Not to try to guilt anyone into it, but should you be interested in doing this and sponsoring a child simply go to www.worldvision.org. 100% of the money goes towards the child and their communities to help with food, clean water, sanitation, and education.

The power of God amazes me everyday. I am richly and incredibly blessed for all that I have for all who I love and love me. If I have learned anything through these experiences, it is that the blessings that I have, were given to me, so that I may use them for others. Thank you for reading my story and letting me share such a huge part of my heart with you. I don’t know much about the blogging community, but I do know the amazing impact you all have had on my sister Joanna through everything she and her family have gone through and for that I thank you. I pray for you all that life brings you many blessings and that you give thanks by sharing that love with others. May God Bless You All In Every Way! Ngyakuthanda!! (I love you!) -Samantha Watson

***

Tomorrow I will share how Sam’s trip to Africa and sponsoring Nthati have already impacted my family in large ways.

Tags South Africa, world vision | Permalink | Comment (0)

Family Love Parenthood

2042

November 16, 2012 – 2:55 pm

Yesterday Clint and I met up to sign our name on eleventy billion papers. We refinanced our house because we bought 5 years ago when interest rates were really high and guess what? Now they are really low. On most of the pages, I didn’t bother to read anything. I listened to what the notory said was on there, blindly trusted him and signed away.

Except on one page I happened to notice the year 2042. Thirty years from now.

I didn’t give much thought to the arbitrary day 30 years in the future the first time we bought our house. It was a different time. We weren’t even engaged yet so my mind never wandered ahead 30 years.

Except now we have two kids and for the rest of the day I couldn’t help but think about the year 2042. The girls will be about the ages Clint and I are now. What will they be like?

Will they be writers like me? Will they be hands on like their dad?

Will they want to travel the world advocating for AIDS orphans like their Aunt Sam?

Will they aspire to move to LA and be a movie producer like their Aunt Alex?

Will they love motorcycles like their Uncles? (Dear God, please no?)

Will they have the kind and loving heart of their Aunt Amanda?

I wonder if I’ll be sitting on the floor in that very same play room we sit in every night with my grandchildren. Will they even be married by that point? Will they want to have a family young like I did or will they still be sowing some last few wild oats and travelling the world?

Their stories are not yet written. Clint and I have the privilege of front row seats for watching their tale unfold. I’m constantly amazed and humbled that the these two beautiful, spunky girls were entrusted to us. And I’m so afraid of messing up and failing them that sometimes I lose sight of the beauty in raising them. It can be messy and hard but it is so full of love and joy.

And yesterday it really hit home what a blessing it is to be able to watch them grow up. They learn and change every minute. Their personalities blossom in front of our eyes.

I don’t know what 2042 will look like, but the view from here is just lovely.